Joyce Meyer writes “Although there are ‘downers’ in this life there are also ‘lifters’ “ The psalmist says that despite her distressing situation, she is not despairing  or becoming depressed because her confidence is in the Lord the “lifter” of her “head”

She further says, “When people disappoint us, God wants us, instead of becoming discouraged and depressed to decide to lift up our heads and eyes and look at the possibilities not the problems, around us, around us, trusting him to lead us into an even better situation- —-because He has one for us”

No matter how your life has turned out to this point. You only have two options. One is to give up and quit, the other is to keep going.  If you decided to keep going, Again you gave two choices. One is to live in constant depression and misery. The other is to live in hope and joy.

Choosing to live in hope and joy does not mean you won’t  face any more disappointments or discouraging situations, It just means, you have decided not to let them get you down. Instead, you will lift up your eyes and hands and head and heart and look not at your problems, but at the Lord who has promised to see you through abundance and victory.

I won’t go into details, but yes moving on wasn’t that easy for me. When I came to realized things aren’t going so well, there I broke down alone. Why not tell my family and friends? They didn’t know what  I was going through, well aside from my mother Hassizza, She knows the story(John’s part). But when the time that I broke down, I never  tried to find comfort from my family/friends. Why? I’m someone who’s not attached with them emotionally. My failure relationshits thought me on how to be emotionally detached with people around me. My failure relationshits thought me on how not to trust. It thought me many negative things in life. Not only the relationshits but life itself. I had been deceived by some of my kids and friends. It never crossed my mind that they’ll be the one who’ll turn their backs on me.  I thought  I can count on them anytime, but my thoughts are all wrong. And that explains why I only have few friends.

But I chose to look forward. There is no point in me living life miserable. I chose to let go of the baggage —- emotional, mental, spiritual issues that constantly bring us down. I chose to accept things because accepting things like our decisions and our mistakes can help to repose the pain.

Finality…..  I’m not going to promise anything to my family and friends, but I’ll try to be more visible with them. I’ll try to be more patient.  I’ll try to be completely present in the moment of their lives. I’ll try to be there through the tough times. I have grown up, and I will continue to mature. I have become more responsible, and I will continue to be the Kristina that you can count on. I may no longer be a wife, but I pray constantly that God will give me the patience , strength, faith and love to be the best Mama to my kids,  to be the sister to my sisters, to be the auntie to my nieces and nephews, to be the friend to my friends .

If ever.. If ever the time comes. I really  want to become bestfriends with my boyfriend/husband. I keep praying to God that he will bring somebody into my life that who will wholeheartedly love and accept me. Somebody who will be proud with my achievements, and somebody that will be supportive, yet won’t  judge me based on what I do, but on how I live.

Let me end this with;

It must have been love but it’s over now

It must have been good but I lost it somehow

It must have been love but it’s over now

Goodmorning babies! Today is your special day, wake up. :)

Kamusta ang tulog? Sana maayos naman. Well Mother’s Day just got over and guess what 2 days after that is le daughter’s day, I cant imagine how special this week could be. Sa totoo, lang mga anak hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong ilagay dito. I just got up from bed, at my breakfast and read my inbox when I remembered that its your birthday. Haynaku, makakalimutin na akong Mama, aminado naman ako dun so sana wag magtampo kasi I promise to do everything to make bawi.

Lagi nalang tuwing nagba-blog ako the content is about myself - how I feel, what my thoughts are, how my heart is and etc. Pero ngayon I would share still a part of me but considered the external ones.

Feria Ryen Descartes (Mousse Northern)

Kagabi ikaw ang nagpaalala kay Mama na birthday niyo ngayon and I was like “ohmygulay! wapak?! :o nako, ako’y hindi handa T.T” at para sa isang nanay that’s very inappropriate so planned the things I would do today to make it up to you guys. Kung alam mo lang ‘nak kung gano kahirap na maging Mama mo, di ka naman sakit sa ulo pero ewan ko nahihirapan ako, siguro kase gusto kong tapatan or higitan pa nga yung ginawa para sa’yo ng Tatay mo, Northern ka kasi before eh, iba ang impact, alam mo yun? 

Well moving on, napag-usapan pa natin yung pagiging BH mo, tiisan today at call diverts. Sa mga yan naiintindihan kita anak cause I, myself had experienced and did those things, sana lang let Mama do something for you para ma-lessen man lang yan, kasi dati kinailangan ko ng help pero wala akong nakuha kaya matagal ako before nakapag-adjust. 

Up to now nahihirapan akong maging Mama for you yet I’m trying my best to reach out and make you feel like I’m really a worth-to-be-called ‘Mother’. Siguro the day I posted this hindi mo agad siya mabasa pero I know in some time mababasa mo din and dont call it corny kasi ang hirap ag-compose ng ganito specially for you. Hindi ko talaga exactly alam kung bakit anak pero sana naiintindihan mo lahat ng sinabi ni Mama.

Ferisse Ryni Descartes (Veronica Tumblr)

At para sa anak kong laging nagpapasaway, nagpapaka-mushy, nagpapakulit, kinakantahan ako kahit medyo sintunado, sinasamahan si Mama through puyats and confe-calls - yes, you the pretty girl with the dual celebration, Thank You so much baby for doing a lot of things for Mama, all the favors, all the kwento, all the load, all the drama, all the tawa, lahat yun chine-cherish ni Mama ng bonggang-bongga. Okay this is so bias, we had more memories that your sisters, pero gora lang we still have a long way to run para habulin ang dami ng yun. 

Anak ang dami ko nang sinabi sayo through texts and calls, lagi kitang binibigyan ng advices and instructions for dos and donts - na malamang kinaririndihan mo minsan kaya alam kung bakit may ilang chances na di mo sinusunod. Dont worry about it, kasi iintindihin kita kung paanong gusto kong intindihin ako. 

Kung wala ka ‘nak di ko alam how will I stay here and move on, prolly right after March I would have been gone already, madami na kasing nangyari and you know that. From being his mother upto being my daughter, sobrang thankful ako kasi you’ve played a big part on our roleplaying lives.

Ano pa bang dapat kong sabihin? Ayun when it comes to any concerns Mama’s only one text, call, wall post, message, tweet, DM, TumblrAsk away - hindi ako malayo sa inyo as long as you recognize me as your Mama and I own you as my daughters, magkadugting tayo wherever you are, keep that in mind. Haynaku, mga anak, I so wanted to call the two of you today, wake you up tapos sing a sintunado Happy Birthday Song kaso hindi kinaya eh, so dito ako bumabawi. Sorry for forgetting your birthday. Thank you for making me happy and I hope I do the same to you guys. Just enjoy your day babies, wala mang gift si Mama pero I will make bawi I promise. I love you very very very very much! Wagas! 

xoxo, Mama Vereng!

It is this priceless feeling that keeps me alive. My family - a very loving family - holds me together. Father, words will never be enough to express my gratitude.

Father, I think this is enough for now. I have updated you with a very lengthy letter again. Send my regards to Him. I love you both most! Farewell. Prepare our mansion in heaven while I make our home a bit of heaven in this Earth.

Before I forget, do tell Mom I said, “Happy Mother’s Day! I love you. Thank you for everything. Do not be jealous Father always receives a letter from me. And I missed your cookies and cakes and our delicious meals whenever you cook. Hugs and kisses!” Really, until next time. See you.

Most of you might consider this a belated greeting, yet, for me it wasn’t - cause I believe mother’s should be loved and honored all-through out the year considering they have devoted their lives upon being our life giver, life sustain, needs provider, best friend, teacher and all from the day they saw those two red lines.

Yesterday, May 13, the whole world recognized different characteristics, heroic deeds, incredible experiences conquered, and every worth honoring manners the most special woman in our life did. Today, we are still going to continue that, and probably for the rest of our life. 

Its a cliche to say “I love you, Mom!” and “Thank you for everything!” so why not tell something new? A touche, maybe.

Mama, through your life I know what I have done is less than compared to yours. There are moments when I dont follow what you say and worse, insist what I want. You provide our needs even if it means you’d have to sacrifice things you could have had. For us, its okay if you skip a meal so that we could buy a new shirt or bag. Sometimes, you even borrow money just to keep our weekly financial sustenance.

Yes, I know all that. I witness all that. I recognize all that. I am proud of you for that. You might thought I dont see your effort, you might say that all I am concern of is myself, you might feel that all of that sacrifice is nothing to me, but you are wrong. Mama, since the first day I have been conscious in life, I  tatooed in my mind that everything you have done and you’d be doing is what I owe you fo until the last breath you would take. 

Each passing day that had God made I may not be able to say or make you feel how much I love, care, respect and owe you. Mama, today and tomorrow upto the upcoming weeks, years or decades that we’d be together please do give me a chance to change that, I want you to feel twice, thrice, maybe even way better what you have done to me.

Mama, you are my everything - if it wasnt for you I wouldnt be here, if it wasnt for you I would never survive, if it wasnt for you I would never learn how to live, if it wasnt for you I would never witness these things, if it wasnt for you I would never learn how to stand and take  step forward, it it wasnt for you I woudnt never learn my ABC, if it wasnt for you I would never be myself, and, most of all, if it wasnt for you I would never be able to say this and let you feel that you are more than special and more than just a woman who gives birth. You are more than everything Mama, it is that you will forever be more than to me.

Rock on, Descartes! ♥

thestartofending:

To my baby girl, Sable Descartes. I love you. ♥

Annicka & Sable Descartes

The charming mother and daughter tandem. Both owns a dear compassion for the family. Do go along with the rest and works not just for themselves but for the benefits of others. These two, Annicka and Sable, are a back to back generation of angels that we are keeping safe. 

I find it kind of funny that the majority of people I know believe that they “belong in New York.” Yes, I agree that New York is a wonderful city and everything there can be simply breathtaking, but it has its downsides too. Just like every other place in the world, there are pros and cons to living there. I don’t think it’s about “where you belong”, but moreso where you can be happy. Then again, people live under some false illusion that a city, town, or location can be that happiness. Yet, they’ll never be happy with where they live unless they’re happy with themselves. I suppose, I’m just saying that you can be happy anywhere…just as long as you take full advantage of its beneficial qualities.　

The following list of songs are selected from the current and old favorites of mine. Three categories will be presented in this post, may you enjoy listening and reading.

A. Every lyrics of the following song is known to give quite a lot of melancholic meaning to my life.

Cry - Kelly Clarkson

‘Whenever I feel your memory is breaking my hear I’ll pretend I’m okay with it all, act like there’s nothing wrong.’

Hurt - Christina Aguilera

‘Thank you for all you’ve done forgive all your mistakes. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to hear your voice again. Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won’t be there .. I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do. And I’ve hurt myself by hurting you.’

Somebody that I Used to know - Gotye ft. Kimbra

‘But you didn’t have to cut me off. Make it like it never happened and that we were nothing. I don’t even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger. And that feels so rough.’

Dont You Remember - Adele

‘When will I see you again? You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said. No final kiss to seal any scene, I had no idea of the state we were in.’

B. To soothe things, I managed to add some beats and melody to my music. Next list shows the RnB side of my playlist.

I could not ask for more - Edwin McCain

‘And right here in this moment is right where I’m meant to be here with you here with me. These are the moments I thank God that I’m alive, these are the moments I’ll remember all my life. I’ve got all I’ve waited for ..’

In the Way - Neyo

‘And I don’t like it no this aint cool feelin like theres something just dont want me near you. The world keeps getting in the way trying to get to you but it seems like everyday is something new. Baby the world keeps getting in the way, with you is where I wanna be but it just wont let me, cuz it keeps getting in the way’

Love each other More - Taj Jackson

‘We’ve come too far to let it go. Our love’s too strong to let it fall. I know its hard but we gotta ride the storm, remember that. We’ve traveled down this road before it only makes us love each other more. I know that we will win cause we’ve got too far to end.’

I Promise - Frankie J.

‘There’s something that you really gotta know I’m with you til the end of the road I’ll never let you go. I swear i’ve never felt like this before cuz everyday I love you more and more..’

C. For the last part, I have here the category a swagger should have. Most of the songs in this list are inspired from I.Am.Me., Brian Puspos’, & Ian Eastwood’s dance videos. I wont be inserting lyrics in here instead I’ll link it in the video where I found it. Enjoy!

Beg for It - Chris Brown - lovin the ‘beg for it’ part. lol.

Trust Issues - Drake - his sexy drunk moves 

Foreplay - Tank ft. Chris Brown - from the beginning up to the end. ah! pusposlove